Anxiety and Symptoms

I test tomorrow.

I've been testing on my own, but tomorrow is the official test.  Blood.  It sounds so final.

All of my tests have been negative.  Well, mostly.  I had the joy of finally using something other than the Wondfru $8 for 25 test strips (how reliable can they be for early testing?) this morning.  And, joy of joys, I got an error message.  That's $10 down the drain.  and time and FMU.  I tested again with the FRGD and another neg.

So, I sit here depressed and scared.  Nothing I can do but worry. So, why worry?  It's my nature.

I have been having symptoms, though. That's the nutso part. That's what makes me question my hormones and sanity.

Friday morning - transfer 6d hatching blast
Saturday night - cramps
Sunday night - headache begins
Monday - wake up with wicked congestion and achy head.
Tuesday - Thursday morning - headcold feeling continues.  I feel truly yucky at various times of the day.
Wednesday night - nausea after dinner.  Can't move, curled up on the couch nausea.  Face flushed on just one side.  weird.
Thursday afternoon - the coldache feeling has dissipated somewhat.  In its wake is that feeling of being carsick.  I remember this. This is what morning sickness felt like.
Thursday evening - was that a throbbing breast for 2 seconds or my imagination? I'll go with imagination.  After dinner, my face flushed bright, bright red for several minutes.  weird.
Thursday night - nausea so bad that I wake up in the middle of the night, discovering I'm doubled over, wrapped around my pillow with my face burrowed in it to feel the cool pillowcase.
Friday - feeling sorta okay. Wait - what the hell is that smell at snack time?  I should love that, right?  I want a candy bar.  I don't like candy. I want hamburgers. Okay, that's normal.  Time to change clothes.  Man, my breasts are tender.  Wait - no, no, that's going to be chalked up to my imagination, too.  No flushing this evening.  Cramping, though.

and throughout it all, the headache continues...as do the negative tests.

I have blood work tomorrow morning.  I should know tomorrow afternoon if there's any chance.  I still won't know because I'll have to have follow up bloodwork if there is any detectable level.

Or there might just be blood tomorrow morning.  Who knows?  I don't, that's for sure.