Oh, I've been reading too much on the lazyweb today. I was trying to figure out what exactly would happen at my suppression check and what they would look for. Apparently, this is all a much bigger deal than I realized and I should be freaking out. I'm not. I've been trying for a baby for three and a half years and this will just be another blip if there's an issue. One thing infertility has taught me is the need for patience along a journey. (Some of you who have known me a long time may be giggling over the idea that anything has taught me to be patient - giggle away!)
At 2pm, I will have an ultrasound. They will look for cysts, follicles, maybe do a follicle check (I can't figure out if this is for dormant/antral follicles or if they want to make sure I haven't accidentally ovulated on birth control pills or the lupron). I will also have bloodwork done to determine progesterone, estradiol, and some other alphabetical bloodwork names with which I am not familiar.
If any thing is off, I will not begin stimulation medication tomorrow. I may have to continue on lupron for further suppression, wait an entire cycle, or ?? I am realizing that I'm in the dark on this. I've been blissfully in the dark on this! I don't know if I would have to pull off everything and wait for "that time of the month" (how quaint!) or just take some extra medication.
I'll find out later today. If I am not at the right place in my cycle, could I at least be at the right place for my 40th birthday? If I don't have to be here, could I go lie on a beach someplace?
Hey! This isn't sounding too bad! This whole IVF thing interrupted a beach vacation for me anyway. I'll just see if I can go back to that.
And, it's statements like the above that make me realize how removed I am from this process. I'm just following along, taking the shots, taking the needles, making the appointments, going here, there, giving blood, having a Wha? shoved up where??, and doing that every day or every couple of days for weeks. I suppose that shows commitment to the process. But, honestly, there are times when I wish I could have postponed this and taken that vacation with dear friends and seen my extended family (whom I've not seen since last summer).
So, I focus on that as a possibility instead of the issue of having to wait another few weeks. I'll just repress any sadness and disappointment and anger with a good cocktail, a pedicure, salt water, and the love of friends. I've waited years and gone through many procedures. At least now I'm on a path towards a baby in a more positive direction than I have been.
Now check with me this evening to see if I'm singing a different tune.
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